Grief and the internet generation

An article on the Internet generation and grief appeared in this morning's New York Times: "The social norms for loss and the Internet are clearly still evolving. But Gen Y-ers and millennials have begun projecting their own sensibilities onto rituals and discussions surrounding death. As befits the first generation of digital natives, they are starting blogs, YouTube series and Instagram feeds about grief, loss and even the macabre, bringing the conversation about bereavement and the deceased into a very public forum, sometimes with jarring results." Read more of the story HERE...

Three dedicated hospice volunteers recognized for their service

Judy Fowler, Ellen Green and Wanda Green were recently honored for their dedicated service by the Hospice Care Foundation of Missoula.

You can read more of their inspiring story HERE.

A hospice love story

This is the moving hospice love story of Harvey Mehlhaff, a retired Baptist minister, and his wife Carole, who have been married for 51 years. The video was produced by Providence Hospice of Seattle, where I was a hospice volunteer.

Living every single moment

The website Spirituality and Practice published a remarkable review of the Robert Redford film All is Lost which it praises for "creating a substantive and gripping work of art that compels us to confront death and our fears of dying alone."

Below is an extended quote from the review:

"The early Christians known as the Desert Fathers and Mothers saw death as a companion who is always with us. They knew that living our life from the point of view of death was not a capitulation to despair but a wonderful way to clear the mind to approach every moment with delight. Here is an excerpt from "Soul Making: The Desert Way of Spirituality" by Alan Jones:

"In the desert tradition, death is a companion, a friend. St. Francis of Assisi called death 'sister.' He was a believer of extraordinary power, at home with the desert way of believing. Death, far from being the terror we encounter at the end of our earthly existence, is the companion and friend who walks with us now. Sister Death is with us always. Her shadow marks and influences every moment.

"To live our life from the point of view of our death is not necessarily a capitulation to despair, to withdrawal, to passivity. Rather, it can become the basis for our being and doing in the world. The more we refuse to look at our own death, the more we repress and deny new possibilities for living. We are all going to die, and our life is a movement to that sure end. Believers find that meditation on this simple fact has a wonderful way of clearing the mind! It enables them to live every single moment with new appreciation and delight. When I say to myself, 'This moment may be my last,' I am able to see the world with new eyes."

To read the full review, click HERE.

When making new year's resolutions, let the wisdom of the dying be your guide

Maybe your list of new year's resolutions should look more like your bucket list. Here's a suggestion: let the top five regrets of the dying be your guide for living the next year of your life.

Bronnie Ware worked in hospice for many years and she asked her patients, in the final weeks of their lives, if they had any regrets or would do anything differently. On her blog, she writes about the five most common themes that emerged: 1) I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2) I wish I didn't work so hard. 3) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Read Ware's full blog post HERE. Or order her book HERE.

Always go to the funeral

This beautiful essay from the "This I Believe" series on National Public Radio was first aired in 2005, but it's the most re-tweeted item I ever put on Twitter, so I am posting it here on my blog, too. Here's my favorite quote from Diedre Sullivan's essay about her father's advice to "always go to the funeral":

"'Always go to the funeral' means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing." 

Read the full essay by clicking HERE.

Living in the present moment

Tony Winner Idina Menzel sings "No Day But Today" from the Broadway musical Rent. Based on Puccini's opera La Boheme, Rent is the story of a group of struggling young artists and musicians living on New York City's Lower East Side under the shadow of HIV/AIDS in 1989.